Elevator Etiquette...

Okay so I will surely admit that I am a bit of an elevator snob! There are few things greater than stepping onto an elevator and getting to ride up to your floor alone with no stops in between. Sweet Joseph, it makes any day just a little better... but since my office building wasn't considerate enough to designate an elevator just for my use I do have to suck it up and share with others... Fine with me.

BUT there are some people who think they rule all elevators they come in contact with and those jerkwads are who I am paying tribute to today.

If I'm on an elevator when you get in and I have "5" pressed already and you know its pressed because the orange halo of lighness is shining in all of its glory, why in tarnations must you get on the elevator and press "5" again??? We're clearly already on our way to "5" you ninny! Your double press will not get us there any faster!

Then there's the guy who you see walking towards the elevators just as the door is closing. You, being the proper polite individual that you are decide to risk a limb and throw your arm into the path of the closing doors, just to allow this gentleman a ride. So he gets on and immediately presses "Close Door" even though he sees other people walking towards the same elevator that just graciously accepted him at such a late moment. SELFISH! What if someone decided to press "Close Door" on you buddy??? You are not the king of elevators sir. They don't operate solely on your schedule! Hmmmph!

And finally, there's the hurried chick who gets on with you at "G" and presses "6" while you press "3" and the only other gentleman riding presses "2". She is annoying and impatient and has clearly deemed herself elevator door monitor because she jams her stupid finger into the "Close Door" button as soon as the elevator opens its door at every floor, hardly allowing the people a chance to get off.

So I say to you madame elevator door marm, I do hope you will forgive me for pressing "4 " and "5" as I was getting off on "3". I hope that those two extra stops gave you some time to think about your actions and re-evaluate the proper way ride an elevator in the company of others.

I bid you adieu.